How does one sum up an entire year of beginnings? How do I express in a little post what choosing daily to live out this lifelong journey has changed and shaped us already?
I recall hearing two ideas of what “the first year” is like… that it’s hard, challenging, and so on. And from others that it’s bliss, fun, exciting. My take on this year: a grand, beautiful ebb and flow of all these things. I imagine this will only grow more intense as the years pass; the blissful, joyous, everything-is-beautiful times will linger for a season, followed by a time of stretching, heartache, challenges to walk through and not give up whatever difficulties may threaten to break us.
While engaged, I would often think about our new life together and wonder what was in store for us. What would Kyle+Jackie’s marriage look like? And I still wonder because I must and should wonder; every day we must choose what our marriage will be. Every day I must choose to love Kyle with all my heart, to honor and respect him. And I will always search for new ways to do all these things. Maybe we are sweet little love bird newlyweds, but it’s not a naive love by any means. We hurt each other and have our shameful moments where we may place less effort on intentionally loving the other and more on intentionally twisting the other’s arm. We’re newly married still but I pray these small pebbles we have kicked around slowly build us up for hills, boulders or mountains. And I want mountains; just as I would love to travel the world and discover new places and people, I desire (and believe Kyle also desires) to go places in our marriage and travel the mountains to see the beautiful new land to discover on the other side.
As I tell Kyle often, he is my world. He will always be my number one, my hero and my dearest friend. On this reflective, celebratory weekend, my heart is overflowing with adoration and thanksgiving for this life we chose together. I want to pinch myself!
…This must be one of those lovely, blissful seasons ❤